He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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