is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
