question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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