I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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