My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize