actually, I'm a sock model
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
