sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
