so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I will be naked everywhere
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
