the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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