Im at strip club and am horny
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
