Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize