I just pynch a tree in the face
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
