Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
