Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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