Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
