All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How external is "for external use only"?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
