yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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