I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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