Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
