those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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