yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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