It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
