you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
