you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
