I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't notice because vodka
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
