I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
40s are totally the cure
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
