I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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