come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize