epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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