i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
