you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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