and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He felt like a one man threesome
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
