If that was your dad, he is hot
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dicks are not precious.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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