So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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