I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
