I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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