C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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