Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
