You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
