She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i will never coherently bang her
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize