she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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