You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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