I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am available for nakedness
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He has the fingertips of a God
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
