He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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