i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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