I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
