Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
