Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
