Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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