Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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