she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
there is glitter all over my balls
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