How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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