I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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