Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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