I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize