remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
