This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
