You don't have asthma, your pregnant
another moral hangover. fuck.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
