Sponge bath it is.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
