My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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