I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
