i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
