spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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