In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
