Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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