He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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