I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
