i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
