Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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