literally had 100 drinks last night.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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