Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There r osticjed everywhere
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
