I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
